I haven't written anything in a very long time. The blog is usually filled up with quotes from Rumi, saints, Thomas Merton and videos I happened to enjoy, rather than anything I've actually written.
Three years ago I was going on writing spurts pumping out notebooks of various poems and short stories. For me that period helped me realize a lot about my personality. It also allowed me to grow in many different ways. It was, you could, say therapeutic.
When my daughter was born I stopped writing so much mainly due to a lack of time. I picked up the pen and started writing here and there, but I was just in a different mind space that I couldn't really write what I was feeling. I felt that I was writing on some platform that I couldn't relate to.
A year ago, I went through my notebooks and felt embarrassed. My writings felt superficial and nonsensical. I had wasted time on temporary feelings that were brought about by lust and hatred. That's because I grew up turning those emotions into something that helped me escape situations. After ten years of striving to have a personal relationship with God, I decided my writing had to stop so that I could focus on chanting, reading, and hearing.
The writings of this world are mostly in the mode of ignorance and the mode of passion. I don't want to produce something covered by the modes of material nature. I want to dig deep into myself and excavate unwanted desires that are keeping me from producing a message of love and compassion. To whomever is reading this now, I want to express gratitude and love for you.
We are all brothers and sisters. We have lost our way home and we have only each other to help each other find the path.
So I have made some changes to the blog and will be making changes in my personal life to really write something that means something. This will be mainly for my own purification. I'm done treading water, I want to swim.
Thank you for tolerating my many short comings. All glories to Sri Sri Guru Gauranga who are always guiding us in this world darkness.