Struggle

My head dunks underneath the water
Sound is absent...
I hold my breath as long as I can
The sun creates a beautiful seen on the waves...

My mind begins to wander
I try to search for my source of happiness
Is it there in my daughter's face?
Is it there in the laughter of my wife?
I witness my brothers and sisters struggling everyday

They struggle for their position and money
They struggle for a social life... They struggle for sex

Spiritual life is also a struggle...
The illusory potency is so strong and cruel
She presents the best offers possible only to blow you over like a twig in a hurricane
I have to admit that I flirt with her daily
Somehow by the devotees' insurmountable mercy I am still struggling

Let's go to the desert
The desert is actually in our hearts
Jesus went to the desert for forty nights and forty days
His heart was flooded by the pure waters of God's love
Flirting with maya is like putting a drop on the desert like soil of our hearts
We torture ourselves with a drop
When the ocean is there at any moment

Lust, anger and greed trample me when I should show restraint
I pray and curse my fickle mind
O Lord, what will You do with such a foolish person?

I struggle to chant Your holy names
My brother struggles for temporary sense gratification
So many people in anxiety and living with fear
I curse myself because I allow them to live this way
Why don't I struggle to help them?
Instead I criticize them to show how I'm better than them

Where is my humility?
Where is my compassion?
O Radha, You are the keeper of Krishna's heart
You give energy to the devotees
You are most merciful
When shall this fallen soul gain the most precious opportunity of serving the devotees of Your devotees?