Temptations

My temptations have turned into habits
I am like a pig rolling into stool
Drowning in my own bad habits I forget why I struggled
Like climbing a tree only to fall and break my leg
How will I climb up again with an injured leg?

Struggling then giving in to temporary pleasures that only distract
The wedding party forgot to pull up the anchor
All night long the boatman rowed
When morning came the party found they had not moved
They asked him what had happened... He rowed all night without making progress...

Music, pictures and videos fill my head for future meditations
Meditations that bring about fear and frustration
I put the obstacles on the path and then complain about them later on
Am I that self-destructive or is this an exaggeration?
One who is in illusion will never admit that he's in illusion

Do I write this for others to applaud my introspection or do I write this for purification?
Will you accept my faults and forgive my trespasses?
O Gurudeva hearing you pray to Srila Rupa Manjari breaks my heart and yet I keep from crashing to the ground
O Lord of the Gopis, will You take from me these distractions or will I remain far from Your lotus feet?
The perfection is found in the dust of Srila Rupa Manjari's lotus feet.............................................
Yet, I cover myself with the donkey urine of fault-finding............